“I am optimistic about some things in my life, but you also have to be realistic,” writes an astute reader in response to Saturday’s Love Notes. This belief in a trade-off between being optimistic and being realistic is something I hear often.
In the “real” world of investments, most are aware of the psychological factors at play in the stock market: when people are anxious about the future (“Bearish”), they are more afraid of investing in stocks and the market goes down. When people are feeling good about the future (“Bullish”), they are more willing to invest in stocks and the market goes up.
The same holds true for each of us: when the bulk of our feelings are optimistic or positive, our vital signs go up: we are more successful, healthier and happier. This has been shown time and again by legendary leaders like Andrew Carnegie and Sir John Templeton. Research by two of my mentors, Martin Seligman and Barbara Fredrickson supports what we see in real leaders: that when you cultivate an optimistic outlook and greater positive emotion, you do better in life.
When people say, “but you must be realistic,” they usually mean, “you have to look at the things going wrong around you.” What they forget is that it’s not a trade-off– it’s just as real to look at good things as bad. The question is where do you want to focus your attention? More goes right every day than wrong, but sometimes it’s hard to see that (especially when you listen to the news which is biased toward “bad” events).
As Carnegie, Templeton, Seligman and Fredrickson demonstrate, when we focus our minds optimistically and positively, we are not only happier, but also have better relationships and are more creative and productive. What’s not to love about that kind of realism?
Like Pollyanna, you may want to focus more of your energy on the many “real” things around you that are good. It’s not a trade-off, it’s a win-win… for you.