Note: This is the second article in The Myths of Education™ series.
Have you ever wondered why we urge teens to be the best possible student? Many parents, leaders, and educators say it’s because they believe this will get him into the “best” colleges and — the big assumption — that this will lead to the best work and life. No matter how you define “best work” and “best life,” it is a flawed assumption that being a top student gets you there (for more on this, see my study).
3 Reasons to Stop Telling The Myth of the Best Student:
1. It can be bad for your health.
The more that students focus on others’ approval, being seen as intelligent, or academic performance, the more their symptoms of anxiety and depression increase, say researchers Judy Crocker and colleagues. With high school depression at an all-time high (1 in 5 students)*, that’s reason enough to reconsider our beliefs about grades. And it doesn’t stop there. College administrators, professors and students tell me that depression and anxiety are rampant on campuses.
2. An elite degree is no guarantee.
Some Harvard students–in a group that was selected for academic, physical, and psychological superiority– went on to live satisfying lives and some went on to live unhappy lives, says Dr. George Vaillant. Underprivileged students who went to any college (no matter which one) had the same life-health pattern as the Harvard group, Vaillant explains.
3. Hearts trump.
People who score higher on the “heart strengths”– zest, gratitude, hope, and love – are more satisfied with their lives than those who score high on intellectual strengths, report researchers Nansook Park, Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman.
What is most surprising about the myth-of-the-best-student is that it hurts the very teens we think are best-served by high school today. If we encourage kids to focus on high grades, teachers’ opinions, class rank, or getting into the “best” colleges, we are asking them to give their attention to things that increase their chances of becoming anxious or depressed.
Not only that, we teach them that being the best is what counts and leave them to learn for themselves how to develop the gifts and strengths that will bring joy to their lives.
Appreciate the beauty of every teen’s gifts. 
Encourage young adults not to worry (much) about grades, status, or teacher opinion. Instead, help each to find, value, and develop her special qualities– even when these qualities don’t fit neatly into what others claim is important.There are many adults who were great students, but not happy in life. There are also many adults who were not good students but flourished because they developed their gifts.
This article originally appeared on February 9, 2009 in Positive Psychology News Daily Images: Young man at trading desk; Hearts; Lecture Hall;Happy girl in field
*Gillham, Reivich, Jaycox, & Seligman, (1995). Prevention of depressive symptoms in schoolchildren: two-year follow-up. Psychological Science.
